And The Hunt Begins!

After one has been able to enjoy the life of a student, most are forced to face “the real world” (so to speak.) Ironically, reality seldom involves Algebra, Trigonometry or the ability to hit the volleyball over the net with a perfectly executed serve. One cannot truly be labelled an adult until they are exposed to the gruelling adventure that is JOB HUNTING.

Graduation marks the end of an era. Once you walk up that stage and get that diploma, you’re on your own. Naturally, those that graduate with top marks get the most job offers. They are the gods of the hunt. As they busy themselves with shopping for the proper attire, the mere mortals step off that platform and type up their resumes with a flair that would put Jane Austen to shame. Despite what people might say, first impressions do last. Thus begins the tedious task of highlighting possible career options as well as the mental calculation of efficient employment hunting routes.

Here in the Philippines, more than half the population rely on public transport.  The lucky ones with cars show up for an interview with a dazzling smile, a perfectly put together outfit and impeccable personal hygiene. The ones that struggle for a seat in the jeepney at six in the morning to make it in time for an interview at eight tend to develop unnecessary sweat stains and rumpled clothing. Not a pleasant sight but sometimes unavoidable.

Regardless of your personal circumstances, you start the day with hope in your heart and a spring in your step. By 6:00pm, you hear the echo of the pounding of your feet, the growling of your empty tummy as well as the slumped position of your shoulders. Day 1, no luck. You go home, tuck yourself in for the night, wake up in the morning and the cycle begins again.

The direction of your hunt should seem pretty clear. ALL nurses end up working in hospitals, ALL tourism graduates land jobs in airlines or travel agencies, ALL engineers and architects join or start their own firms, ALL teachers get to share their hard earned knowledge with the next generation and every single cow in this world can fly to the moon and back. Impossible? Well so is that ridiculous notion of everyone landing their dream job.

A friend of mine studied nursing for 6 years. That’s 6 years of sleepless nights and hard hitting exams. At present, she works as a call centre agent for a multi-national company. Another friend took up Culinary and Hospitality Management in college. She is currently waiting tables at a restaurant in Singapore. I seriously doubt if these were the careers they had in mind when they worked their butts off to graduate. Unfortunately, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

We should all be so lucky to get a job that we like much less a job that we actually love. We’re never really certain where life will take us. One day you’re ready to tackle the world with a vengeance but the minute you don’t get your way, all is lost and everything is dreary once again.

This world holds so many brilliant minds. The sad part is, only a few will be given the chance to actually shine. Whether we want to admit it or not, there aren’t enough positions in this world to accommodate everyone’s wants and dreams.

Job hunting is a battle against hundreds, sometimes, thousands of people vying for the same spot. You think you stand out? Well, other people in that same line you’re in think the exact same thing about themselves. Will you be the lucky one? You’ll just have to wait and see.

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Not good, No likey! (Day 1)

Day 1 of the 30 days of Truth blog project says I have to list some stuff I hate about myself. I’m not perfect (and I don’t plan on making that my life’s goal) and I know there are some things I need to work on, but actually saying that I HATE something about myself seems a tad harsh. Instead of listing something I hate, I’d rather list down some stuff I need to improve.

 

  •  STOP PROCRASTINATING

I don’t know what it is about me but I just love putting things off. It comes to a point where I get so harassed that I end up wanting to pull my own hair out or bang my head on a wall just to keep myself calm (if your wondering, that technique has yet to work its magic on me.) I get so frustrated with myself, so moody around other people and sometimes, I get downright unpleasant that even I don’t want to be around myself.I seriously need to work on this the most. Hence, this appears at THE TOP of my list.

 

  • GET INTO AN ACTUAL SPORT

I’ve tried a lot of sports in my day but I can’t seem to stick it out with any of them. My goal is to choose one (count it, ONE) and work towards being totally AWESOME at it.

 

  • STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK

I try not to, I really, REALLY do but sometimes I feel like reacting this way is unavoidable. I try to be self-confident (but I NEVER strut like a freakin peacock. That’s just tacky) but there are times when I just try to suck it up and mosey on. I don’t necessarily change myself because of what other people say but, to be perfectly honest, I do lug it around with me. It becomes something like a shadow for a little bit and it annoys the hell out of me.

 

So… That’s about it. My flaws laid out and plastered for the world to see. I’m not ashamed of it or anything but I can promise to try and remedy it as best as I can.

This may just be my shortest entry yet (slow clap please) and I’m really looking forward to the next 29 days! 🙂 I leave you with an interesting quote I found on-line approximately 5 mins ago.

 

“It’s not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.”

– Stephen Fry, Moab is My Washpot

 

When your feeling low, lower than the floor… Have some Nutella!!! It makes everything better! CHEERS! 😀

The Lesser of Two Evils…

A friend of mine once asked me a question that I thought was fairly stupid at the time. He asked, “If I were to choose between regret and anger, which emotion would I rather allow myself to feel?” Granted, the skies were a tad dark that day and the ambience did leave something to be desired but, posing a question like that seemed unnecessary and, quite frankly, a bit annoying. Why on earth would I want to contemplate a query like that?!

Unfortunately, I found myself pondering the question and eventually, I began a mental list of the things I did regret and the things that made me want to sit in a corner and plot the downfall of the person who hurt me.

True, there are tons of other emotions to take into account:

  1. Pain can be so powerful that it consumes you, but in the end, it turns out to be nothing but a wound, it aches at times but eventually, it heals.
  2. Loneliness is painful but then again, you’re lonely because you choose to be so. If you let someone into your life, you’ll find that this world isn’t such a sucky place after all.
  3. Happiness can be amazing but  it has its ups and downs. Sometimes, that feeling of elated invincibility is short lived. Still, you learn to get past that and move on.
  4. Fear is ever present but you are always given a choice to run away or confront it.

Regret and anger, however, can linger and gnaw at the back of your mind until you finally decide to let it go.

Like any other person, I’ve had to live with both regret and anger. I love my life and am truly grateful for all the blessings but, there are still some instances in the past that I wish I could do over.

  • There are some choices I wish I didn’t make and opportunities I allowed to slip from my grasp.
  • There were some words I wish I could take back and thoughts I should have voiced out but ended up keeping them to myself.
  • So many hours wasted on frivolous things and so little time spent actually being productive.
  • So many temper tantrums that should have been suppressed and arguments that could have been avoided but ended up exploding in my face.

“Such is life… You can never really get everything you want…”

I may be all happy and bubbly most of the time but sometimes, the other feelings, those I’d rather keep hidden, seep through the cracks of the walls I’ve tried to put around to isolate it.

  • I feel bad when I get shunned away or when I’m made to feel unimportant.
  • I get offended when I’m being told snippets but, the bigger picture is always kept under lock and key.
  • I get upset when my statements get twisted and words are being shoved into my mouth.
  • I feel horrible when I’m singled out from a group of people I’ve labelled as my friends.

Basically, I’m like everyone else. Yes we’re all unique and quirky in our own little way but we’re all wired pretty much the same. That’s what makes us human.

I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be anything close to perfection. The thing is, Yes we learn from our mistakes but why do we always have to make that an option?! If we can avoid the little blunders, then why don’t we?

In truth, I’m probably more wary of Anger than I am of any other emotion. Yes regret eats you up but the thing is, it’s in the past. You can whine and groan all you want but it won’t do you any good. The best you can do is cry it out and find a way of living life and making up for your frustrations. If it’s actually worth doing, you won’t care how long it takes or how rough the roads will be.

 

Anger however, can lead to revenge and you end up doing something drastic that ultimately hurts everyone involved, including yourself. You have to remember… Once the moment’s gone and the damage has been done, you can’t take it back. The question is… can you live with yourself after that?

 

So the answer to the question, “Anger or Regret, which one will it be?” I’d opt for none, obviously. Unfortunately, that choice was never presented. Instead, if i really had to choose, I’d choose regret. Like I said, regret is lingering but the outcome can be changed depending on what path you decide to take. If at the road’s end I find myself wanting, I hurt nobody else and can blame no one else but myself.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed doors that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

– Alexander Graham Bell

Don’t let life pass you by just because you can’t allow yourself to let go of the past. There are so many beautiful things about the world that are right in front of you. All you have to do is choose to see them. 🙂


Once upon a time…

As a kid, I distinctly remember saying that I couldn’t wait to grow up (I said it more than once actually). I saw all of these amazing things around me and I met so many fascinating people along the way that it literally took me a while to process it all. Still, I was beyond captivated. I looked at life from a different perspective. As a child, I looked at the world through rose-tinted glasses. All I saw were the wonders, the beauty that this world had to offer me. There was only that, and nothing else. I remember thinking, “One day, I’ll end up doing everything and so much more.”

I grew up watching Disney movies. Needless to say, there was a point in my life when I thought I’d get anything I wanted just by wishing and dreaming for it. . I was a little kid. I didn’t know any better. All that was running through my mind was, if stories like this ended up in the magic box with magical moving pictures, then that’s good enough for me. I was so caught up in the fantasy that I painted. I refused to grow up gradually. When I finally realized I had to, I was literally thrown into reality. Now I see how unreasonable some of my thoughts were (trust me, I’ve contemplated my fair share of outrageous things). Disney is great and all (great is an understatement. Disney is AWESOME! 😀 ) but I mean really… The day I see Aladdin, Quasimodo and Tarzan plop down on a chair in Algebra class is the day I become Princess of Atlantis. It’s just NOT going to happen. Sometimes I think it would be easier to stand up to some evil, witchy stepmother and fight my way to a happily ever after.

As I got older, I’ve given up on wishing on the 1st star I see at night. I’ve also stopped believing that Prince Charming will one day rescue me from the clutches of an evil villain (in the real world, villains are associated with psycho teachers, messed up pedestrians and people who seriously need an attitude adjustment.)

Life is life. It’s real and it’s in your face. Yes it’s wonderful (most of the time,) but I’ve learned to accept that it won’t always be long walks in the park and picturesque picnics in the meadows of Lala Land. As Maroon 5 said, “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies. It’s compromise that moves us along” We don’t live in a fairytale. It’s not about true love’s kiss or the promise of forever (although a deal like that doesn’t sound half bad. 🙂 ). In the end, the deciding factor will always be the choices you made in the past. You hold all the cards. It’s how you play the game that determines your future.

At 23, I find myself gazing back at the little girl who thought she held the world in the palm of her hand. I’m still a dreamer in all aspects. I still cook up some impossible scenarios every now and then. I still get amazed at the things that catch my fancy and I still meet so many riveting and beautiful people every day. The only difference is my perspectives have changed. I have changed… I’ve learned to accept life as it is and not turn it into something fictional. Life may be hard and my paths may turn bumpy at times but I can still have my Happily Ever After. I just have to make it through my dark forests first. 😉