20

Dear Life

 

People say that a person’s 20’s are the highlight of their life. It’s when they shed off what’s left of their childish ways, officially enter adulthood, and fall in love for the first time for all the right reasons. Personally, I beg to disagree. I’m turning 25 this year and I can honestly say that I still have a bit of my 16 year old self conveniently tucked away. Some might call it immaturity, others, a desperate attempt at holding on to ones yester years. To me, the 20’s isn’t the AWESOME welcoming party to adulthood, RATHER; it is the rude awakening to a life you’re not sure you’re prepared for.

OLD

The 20’s can be wild and exciting. It’s immersing yourself in a whole new world with equally crazy, confused, and hormone induced 20 something folk just like you. It’s when you desperately want to be all grown-up but still cling to the thought of being a kid so you start juggling your workload with the weekend getaways and late night parties. It’s when you hold your first paycheck, call up a friend, and spend like you’re a freakin millionaire on a shopping rampage. Savings? What the hell is that?!!

In the end, you’ve achieved the impossible. Sleep deprived and broke; you’ve conquered the barrier between being a child and an official adult. You’ve now become a proud member of the “In-Betweens”.  You’ve matured physically but you’re not marked an old timer just yet. That, my friends is but a glimpse of a typical 20 something’s life. Forever on the go and not entirely willing to let stuff go. 🙂

Now we move on to love.  People tend to brand the teenage years, as the time for experimenting. The moment when raging hormones usually get the better of us so we jump at every opportunity to love and be loved. Personally, I think the 20’s aren’t all that different. Yes we’re older and supposedly wiser but at the end of the day, we still end up falling for the bad boy on the motorcycle instead of the cute, geeky guy who’s silently loved you your whole life. Why?!!

Two things you should remember about falling in love in your 20’s:

  • MAGIC rarely happens by chance

– We all want to be swept off our feet but at this point in time, we’re too old to believe in fairytale endings. If you want your own happily ever after, you have to work at your relationship. The rest of it will just click into place when the time is right.

  • The cute guy isn’t always the perfect pick

– Being cute is a huge PLUS but being able to laugh at witty jokes and having meaningful and deep conversations beats ogling a guy any day. Dating the hot jock is sooo 5 years ago!

“So fine. You’re going to fall in love with The One. You’re going to fall in love with someone who will make sense beyond college or a job or a particular season. They’ll make sense forever and won’t ever want to leave you behind. I’m telling you this not because it’s true but because it NEEDS to be true. Everyone is entitled to this kind of love, so why not? Have it. It’s yours. Blow out the candles on your 30th birthday, holding their hand, and let out an exhale that’s been waiting for ten years.”

– Thought Catalog

MHMMM

So there… I guess being in your 20’s isn’t such a bad thing.

Is it hard? Yeah it is.

Do you sometimes wish you could curl up into a ball and disappear? Yeah you do.

It may sound like such a cliché but it’s all about the decisions you make! Technically, your 20’s map out the rest of your life. It’s never too late to change but it gets pretty damn hard when you’re so use to falling into the same patterns.

To sum it all up, the 20’s are about figuring out what you wanna do and who you wanna be for the rest of your life.

It’s about killing the drama of the past, toning down unrealistic expectations and grabbing every opportunity that comes a’ knockin.

It’s also about looking back and choosing what to take along your journey and what to leave behind.

The 20’s is about embracing all the jumbled up emotions you have and making them a part of you instead of shoving them away.

It’s about acceptance and about making room for the real you to come out and play the game. 🙂

“It’s about a girl who is on the cusp of becoming someone.. A girl who may not know what she wants right now, and she may not know who she is right now, but who deserves the chance to find out.”

-Jodi Picoult

For an article related to this post, click HERE

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The Lesser of Two Evils…

A friend of mine once asked me a question that I thought was fairly stupid at the time. He asked, “If I were to choose between regret and anger, which emotion would I rather allow myself to feel?” Granted, the skies were a tad dark that day and the ambience did leave something to be desired but, posing a question like that seemed unnecessary and, quite frankly, a bit annoying. Why on earth would I want to contemplate a query like that?!

Unfortunately, I found myself pondering the question and eventually, I began a mental list of the things I did regret and the things that made me want to sit in a corner and plot the downfall of the person who hurt me.

True, there are tons of other emotions to take into account:

  1. Pain can be so powerful that it consumes you, but in the end, it turns out to be nothing but a wound, it aches at times but eventually, it heals.
  2. Loneliness is painful but then again, you’re lonely because you choose to be so. If you let someone into your life, you’ll find that this world isn’t such a sucky place after all.
  3. Happiness can be amazing but  it has its ups and downs. Sometimes, that feeling of elated invincibility is short lived. Still, you learn to get past that and move on.
  4. Fear is ever present but you are always given a choice to run away or confront it.

Regret and anger, however, can linger and gnaw at the back of your mind until you finally decide to let it go.

Like any other person, I’ve had to live with both regret and anger. I love my life and am truly grateful for all the blessings but, there are still some instances in the past that I wish I could do over.

  • There are some choices I wish I didn’t make and opportunities I allowed to slip from my grasp.
  • There were some words I wish I could take back and thoughts I should have voiced out but ended up keeping them to myself.
  • So many hours wasted on frivolous things and so little time spent actually being productive.
  • So many temper tantrums that should have been suppressed and arguments that could have been avoided but ended up exploding in my face.

“Such is life… You can never really get everything you want…”

I may be all happy and bubbly most of the time but sometimes, the other feelings, those I’d rather keep hidden, seep through the cracks of the walls I’ve tried to put around to isolate it.

  • I feel bad when I get shunned away or when I’m made to feel unimportant.
  • I get offended when I’m being told snippets but, the bigger picture is always kept under lock and key.
  • I get upset when my statements get twisted and words are being shoved into my mouth.
  • I feel horrible when I’m singled out from a group of people I’ve labelled as my friends.

Basically, I’m like everyone else. Yes we’re all unique and quirky in our own little way but we’re all wired pretty much the same. That’s what makes us human.

I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be anything close to perfection. The thing is, Yes we learn from our mistakes but why do we always have to make that an option?! If we can avoid the little blunders, then why don’t we?

In truth, I’m probably more wary of Anger than I am of any other emotion. Yes regret eats you up but the thing is, it’s in the past. You can whine and groan all you want but it won’t do you any good. The best you can do is cry it out and find a way of living life and making up for your frustrations. If it’s actually worth doing, you won’t care how long it takes or how rough the roads will be.

 

Anger however, can lead to revenge and you end up doing something drastic that ultimately hurts everyone involved, including yourself. You have to remember… Once the moment’s gone and the damage has been done, you can’t take it back. The question is… can you live with yourself after that?

 

So the answer to the question, “Anger or Regret, which one will it be?” I’d opt for none, obviously. Unfortunately, that choice was never presented. Instead, if i really had to choose, I’d choose regret. Like I said, regret is lingering but the outcome can be changed depending on what path you decide to take. If at the road’s end I find myself wanting, I hurt nobody else and can blame no one else but myself.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed doors that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

– Alexander Graham Bell

Don’t let life pass you by just because you can’t allow yourself to let go of the past. There are so many beautiful things about the world that are right in front of you. All you have to do is choose to see them. 🙂