FALLING In Love…

Every girl dreams of finding that one guy to spend her happily ever after with; the question is, how do you know who to give your heart to?

Being single for the past 24 years hasn’t given me A’s for experience BUT it has allowed me a glimpse into the life of star-crossed lovers, flings, love affairs and promises of forever. I don’t claim to be an expert but after so many years of watching people falling in and out of love, you’re bound to pick up a couple of things.

life

Ladies, be kind to your heart…

Fall for the guy who keeps you up at night. Who makes you smile when you think about him and makes you that much more excited to see him again.

Love the guy who tells you you’re beautiful every chance he gets. Who tells you your gorgeous even though you’re only wearing a pair of jeans and a regular shirt because you feel bloated and fat.

Pick the guy who’s affectionate but understands when you need your space. The guy who’s confident enough to leave you alone for a while because he knows that at the end of the day, you will always come back to him.

Fall in love with the guy who puts up with your unreasonable mood swings during “that time of the month” not because he gets it but because he loves you enough to let the little things slide.

Be head over heels for the guy who loves kids. You can never go wrong with a man who’s willing to pretend to be prince charming just to impress a 5 year old little girl.

prinvxdg

Choose the guy who isn’t afraid to be wrong. That guy who knows he’s not perfect and doesn’t try to justify his mistakes just to save face.

Find the guy who makes you laugh. The guy who thinks you’re cute when you accidentally release a snort and doesn’t care if your hysterical giggles echo throughout the restaurant.

Find the guy who can put up with your quirks. The guy who can’t completely grasp your unreasonable love for Broadway musicals but will bob his head and sing along to your show tunes in the car because he’s gotten so used to hearing them. 🙂

Look for the guy who can put up with all your weird habits. The guy who doesn’t get how you can top rice off with coffee but will try it anyway because it’s something you love.

Fall in love with the guy who can think for himself. The guy who won’t make his world revolve around you but instead, will find a way to make your two worlds intertwine.

Fall for the guy you’re most comfortable with. The guy who isn’t bothered when you both just sit in a coffee shop and read books together like an old married couple.

UP

Pick the guy who’s loved you for the longest time. The guy who waited because he knew you weren’t ready to hear what he had to say but has always been there for you every painful step of the way.

Fall in love the guy who accepts your imperfections. The guy who can see through all your crazy mishaps but loves you anyway.

Finally, love the guy who can live without you but chooses not to. The man who’s grown so accustomed to loving you that he can’t imagine not doing it for the rest of his life.

LOVE

“I am someone who is  looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”

~ Carrie Bradshaw

May we all be so lucky to find that one person we can share forever with. 🙂 Have fun falling in love mon chéri!

20

Dear Life

 

People say that a person’s 20’s are the highlight of their life. It’s when they shed off what’s left of their childish ways, officially enter adulthood, and fall in love for the first time for all the right reasons. Personally, I beg to disagree. I’m turning 25 this year and I can honestly say that I still have a bit of my 16 year old self conveniently tucked away. Some might call it immaturity, others, a desperate attempt at holding on to ones yester years. To me, the 20’s isn’t the AWESOME welcoming party to adulthood, RATHER; it is the rude awakening to a life you’re not sure you’re prepared for.

OLD

The 20’s can be wild and exciting. It’s immersing yourself in a whole new world with equally crazy, confused, and hormone induced 20 something folk just like you. It’s when you desperately want to be all grown-up but still cling to the thought of being a kid so you start juggling your workload with the weekend getaways and late night parties. It’s when you hold your first paycheck, call up a friend, and spend like you’re a freakin millionaire on a shopping rampage. Savings? What the hell is that?!!

In the end, you’ve achieved the impossible. Sleep deprived and broke; you’ve conquered the barrier between being a child and an official adult. You’ve now become a proud member of the “In-Betweens”.  You’ve matured physically but you’re not marked an old timer just yet. That, my friends is but a glimpse of a typical 20 something’s life. Forever on the go and not entirely willing to let stuff go. 🙂

Now we move on to love.  People tend to brand the teenage years, as the time for experimenting. The moment when raging hormones usually get the better of us so we jump at every opportunity to love and be loved. Personally, I think the 20’s aren’t all that different. Yes we’re older and supposedly wiser but at the end of the day, we still end up falling for the bad boy on the motorcycle instead of the cute, geeky guy who’s silently loved you your whole life. Why?!!

Two things you should remember about falling in love in your 20’s:

  • MAGIC rarely happens by chance

– We all want to be swept off our feet but at this point in time, we’re too old to believe in fairytale endings. If you want your own happily ever after, you have to work at your relationship. The rest of it will just click into place when the time is right.

  • The cute guy isn’t always the perfect pick

– Being cute is a huge PLUS but being able to laugh at witty jokes and having meaningful and deep conversations beats ogling a guy any day. Dating the hot jock is sooo 5 years ago!

“So fine. You’re going to fall in love with The One. You’re going to fall in love with someone who will make sense beyond college or a job or a particular season. They’ll make sense forever and won’t ever want to leave you behind. I’m telling you this not because it’s true but because it NEEDS to be true. Everyone is entitled to this kind of love, so why not? Have it. It’s yours. Blow out the candles on your 30th birthday, holding their hand, and let out an exhale that’s been waiting for ten years.”

– Thought Catalog

MHMMM

So there… I guess being in your 20’s isn’t such a bad thing.

Is it hard? Yeah it is.

Do you sometimes wish you could curl up into a ball and disappear? Yeah you do.

It may sound like such a cliché but it’s all about the decisions you make! Technically, your 20’s map out the rest of your life. It’s never too late to change but it gets pretty damn hard when you’re so use to falling into the same patterns.

To sum it all up, the 20’s are about figuring out what you wanna do and who you wanna be for the rest of your life.

It’s about killing the drama of the past, toning down unrealistic expectations and grabbing every opportunity that comes a’ knockin.

It’s also about looking back and choosing what to take along your journey and what to leave behind.

The 20’s is about embracing all the jumbled up emotions you have and making them a part of you instead of shoving them away.

It’s about acceptance and about making room for the real you to come out and play the game. 🙂

“It’s about a girl who is on the cusp of becoming someone.. A girl who may not know what she wants right now, and she may not know who she is right now, but who deserves the chance to find out.”

-Jodi Picoult

For an article related to this post, click HERE

For my special little people who are slowly growing up…

I’ve always wanted a little sister. Don’t get me wrong. My not-so-little brother is the sunshine of my life (a cliché I know but he is) and he and I are inseparable but, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a mini-me of sorts.

Being the eldest cousin on both sides, (although I have yet to be blessed with one on my Mom’s side) I thought I’d be able to dote on my younger female cousins. Unfortunately, certain complicated circumstances have gotten in the way (but I won’t get into that now) so I haven’t been given that opportunity until recently.

By that time, Lea (female cousin #1) and her brother Andre migrated to New Zealand so I wasn’t really able to spend so much time with either of them.

ANDRE and LEA

 

I was able to form some sort of bond with Eena (female cousin #2) and her little sister Euha (female cousin #3) but, as luck would have it, they migrated to Dubai late last year.

EUHA and EENA

 

I’m now left with Issa (female cousin #4) and her older brother Marvin whom I have yet to connect with on a deeper level (hopefully we get to do that soon yeah? 🙂 )

ISSA and MARVIN

 

and Erika (female cousin # 5) who is probably the closest to me at the moment.

ERIKA

 

This entry was born out of the sudden need for me to impart some of my knowledge (No matter how measly they may be) to my younger cousins. Because we aren’t able to speak face to face, I shall let the power of modern technology work to my advantage.

Know that I write this full of hope for each of your futures and with love for every single one of you.  

ATE JING’S BRIEF GUIDE TO OWNING LIFE


  • Always have a good head on your shoulders.

You are all so amazingly talented and incredibly blessed. Stay humble and stick to the values your parents have worked so hard to instil in you. You’ll never go wrong if you remember to always be grateful to every single person who has helped and supported you along the way.

 

  • Learn to make your own decisions.

You don’t always have to do what other people tell you to. (Your parents being the exemption) You’ve learned all the essentials, now you have to act on them. Don’t ignore what other people have to say but don’t allow them to dictate your life either. It’s YOUR life so live it the way you see fit.  As you grow older, you’ll learn to tell the difference between right and wrong. Granted, making mistakes is a part of life but, try to lean towards doing what’s good and proper. You’ll end up loving yourself for it.

 

  • Always aim for the best. (from Kuya Jong)

Don’t be contented with mediocrity because once you do, you’ll end up settling and never aiming for perfection. Keep working and aiming for something better. There’s no other way but UP! 🙂

“PERFECTION PARADOX MY DEAR COUSINS,         

If we do not strive to improve ourselves,                 

We cease to be perfect.”

-Kuya Jong

(Yes my brother is a geek but he’s a lovable one. :D)

 

  • Learn to live in the moment.

Planning things is great but there are times when you have to be spontaneous. Life’s no fun when you’ve planned out every single detail of it.

 

  • You don’t always have to care about what other people think.

You’re not always going to agree with every Tom, Dick and Harry that you meet. Don’t let that bug you. What matters is that you’re happy with yourself and with the choices you make in life. Trust me, being normal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 😉

 

  • Venture out of your comfort zones. Write your own stories.

You can’t always hide behind Mommy and Daddy. There’s no doubt that your parents will move heaven and earth for you guys (I know mine does) but you have to learn to do things for yourself and make your own bloopers in life. It’s okay to act a little goofy sometimes. Trying new things is the only way you’ll be able to discover yourself. 😀

 

  • (For my female cousins) Play hard to get.

You’re all so beautiful and any guy would be lucky to get a second look from any of you. You’re at that age when you start crushing on boys (Although your parents would strongly disagree) and having those boys crush on you right back. Don’t be in a rush girls. You’re all so young and there’s a lot more to think about than boys. You’ll get there soon enough (to the horror of your Dad’s) but for now, enjoy the beauty this world has to offer you and continue exuding your AWESOMENESS. 🙂

 

  • Learn to forgive and move on.

Mistakes are human. Don’t expect people to always do the right thing. If someone ends up hurting you, learn to forgive. It won’t do you any good to have negative feelings fester and boil inside you. You’ll end up hurting others as well as yourself.

 

  • Dream beautiful and DREAM BIG.

Life is yours for the taking! Dream about everything wonderful and aspire for the world.

 

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
 Life is beauty, admire it.
 Life is a dream, realize it.
 Life is a challenge, meet it.
 Life is a duty, complete it.
 Life is a game, play it.
 Life is a promise, fulfill it.
 Life is sorrow, overcome it.
 Life is a song, sing it.
 Life is a struggle, accept it.
 Life is a tragedy, confront it.
 Life is an adventure, dare it.
 Life is luck, make it.
 Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
 Life is life, fight for it.”

– Mother Teresa

 

 

 

CARPE DIEM my loves! I love all seven of you with every fiber of my being. I can’t wait to share in all of your adventures.

The Cousins plus Tito Alan and Tita Mikay (Sadly, no Lea and Andre)

Smart is overrated!

I don’t think I’m stupid. I’m slow at some point but, I’m definitely not stupid. I won’t be able to answer the big questions at the drop of the hat but… Here are some things I actually do know…

I know what it’s like to be happy, happy in all ways and in all things.

I understand the importance of time. I know that once it’s gone, you can never get it back.

I know how gripping inspiration is and how it can help and encourage you to grow and expand your horizons

I know the value of friendship. I am thankful each and every day for all the people that have been sent to ease my having to pass through troubled times..

I know how it feels to cry. I cry because of pain, because of loss and because of things I’ve had to leave behind. I know that every tear that falls from my eyes is a memory forever etched in my mind.

I know what it is to learn. I may not learn as quickly or as efficiently as others but, I know the essentials.

I know that everyday is a new discovery and every rising sun hints at another chance to better myself.

I appreciate beauty. The way the sun sinks to the earth to give way to dusk is a sight I shall carry with me all the days of my life.

I know how to have fun. Crazy, reckless fun that leaves me senseless, breathless and gradually tints my cheeks with a rosy colored glow of complete and utter satisfaction.

I have experienced the wonder of words. Shelves filled to the brim with books that allow me to explore this world as well as the next. Words that shield my eyes from the pains of reality and allow them to awaken in Utopia even if it’s just for a fraction of a moment. All this happens with nothing more than a few sheets of paper bound tightly in leather and written in ink.

I know how to make choices. Granted, they’re not always the right ones, but I know that in every path I take, there is always a lesson waiting for me at the road’s end.

I am aware of the dangers of taking risks. I also know that sometimes, risks are crucial. They build character and they push you to leap when you would otherwise just sit in the corner and watch life pass you by.

I have faith. I have faith in people and faith in myself. When that isn’t enough and I feel like all is lost and times are dark, I put my trust in the Lord and in his promise of salvation. I know in my heart that he will never fail me.

I know how important it is to dream but, I also know the difference between living your dreams and living IN a dream. You should never get those two mixed up for they could not be more different. One offers you the world, the chance to explore the inner depths of your being and shine brighter than the stars. The other will give you nothing but grief and a longing for something you can never have.

And last and most importantly, I know how to love and am loved in return. I have been blessed with such an amazing family. They are a reflection of me and of who I want to be. They are proof that love, so compelling and boundless, exists in the real world and not just in fairy tales. I know that without family and without love, there is no life.

So there… I may not be able to explain the world and how it works in so many complex words like Einstein, nor am I capable of answering mathematical questions in an instant but I do know some things… They may not mean as much to you but, they mean the world to me. If that makes me stupid, then I don’t want to be smart…

Stuck in Wonderland

There are so many things I wish I could do. The funny thing is most of them border on crazy or completely impossible. That’s the funny thing about dreaming; only you are able to set the limits of your mind. You control how far your thoughts wander and how real you perceive things to be. Sometimes, I just want to get away from all of it. Away from the hustle and bustle and the drama of my seemingly busy life and the problems that have arranged itself accordingly on a shelf in my head.  Basically, I want an escape from reality… even if it’s just for a little while.

I’m sure that most know the story behind the little girl who got lost in a dream and found herself in a topsy-turvy world where animals and flowers talk, decks of cards are people, creepy cats with a big grin appear out of thin air and the 364 unbirthdays are more important than that 1 birthday you have in a year. But even so, she was able to escape from this droning world into Wonderland. Hence began the story of little Alice Liddell, STUCK in Wonderland.

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?

In my life, there are moments when I just sit and stare into space. Sometimes, my mind is a void. I think about absolutely NOTHING. I just am. Other times however, I am blown away by vivid pictures of places that in reality do not exist. It is a world I make to escape everyone… and everything. It may sound crazy but in a way, I think it’s magical. In reality, there will always be times when you feel like you can’t be yourself. Even if you say you can, instances occur wherein you will have to slightly re-invent yourself to fit in. In the real world, we sometimes feel trapped and limited to the norm. Jamie Paolinetti says, “Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.”

We all need an outlet in life. For some, it’s music, for others it’s writing, reading or even cooking or sports; but for me it’s something much simpler. I don’t even have to exert so much effort, cash out on so much money or travel far away.  It’s all in my mind. See, it’s important for one to escape the harsh truth of reality. Wonderland is a means to get away from all the jerks and freaks that come in and out of our lives.  Truth be told, it’s always easier to hide behind a wall of protection; a place that has become your comfort zone away from reality. Sometimes, we feel so limited to what’s actually out there that we end up creating an alternate world. You portray a completely different life where you are able to freely express yourself. This world becomes a canvas where you are the artist and you have all the control. There are no qualms, no hesitations. I can conjure up creative situations that can be exciting as well as entertaining or scenarios that calm my frazzled nerves as well as speed up time whenever occasions threaten to make my dreary afternoons even longer, a daunting feeling of it lingering until eternity.  As they say, dreams are powered by the imagination where by entering an alternative world, one can be allowed to better convey who they truly are instead of living by a false concept of reality.

In a way, I think that everyone has their own version of Wonderland. It’s nice to get away.  But at the end of the day, reality will inevitably set in. Wonderland is beautiful. A place that is truly yours; but we must not forget to LIVE. In this life, we cannot change the cards we are dealt with. We can only hope that we strategize well and win in the end. A brilliant man by the name of Randy Pausch once said, “It’s not really about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself and the dreams will come to you.”

In retrospect, Wonderland isn’t as far away as people make it out to be. Sometimes, when I’m feeling stumped, I like to daze and liberate my mind.  After all, dreams are one of those rare things in this world that are FREE.  It has no limitations, no rules, no hindrances that exist unless you want them to.  So, with that…WHY SCRIMP?! Never lose that child-like wonder in you.  Whether you’re 7 or 97, Wonderland is always just a hop, skip and a jump away. So when you dream, dream beautifully and dream BIG.  Should you be so fortunate to get half your dream in this lifetime, then you can say you have hit the jackpot and reached the stars.  After all, how many could actually be so lucky that at the road’s end you are one of the privileged who will have lived your own “Happily Ever After”.

Note: I would just like to thank my cousin Tracy for helping me out with this essay. She helped piece together my thoughts. 🙂 Love you Trace! 😀