I’m 23 years old and I’ve never been in love. How’s that for a beginning statement to a Valentine’s Day post?! Catchy? I’ll say. True? Most definitely. I thought I was in love at some point though. I got that similar feeling of butterflies, saw the heavens open, heard the choir of angels burst into song and created illusions of happily ever afters. There was only one thing different; time passed and sadly, so did “love”. Again I was left alone and wanting.
I’m no hypocrite. To say that I’ve never looked with envy at happy couples sharing private jokes and stolen moments would be a lie. Sometimes I wish I had that. That feeling of longing magnifies tenfold on Valentine’s Day. Another year passed and another day of hearts spent twiddling my fingers and looking up at an empty sky (Coincidentally, Valentine’s this year was a tad rainy so the whole empty sky comment wasn’t me trying to sound all deep.)
I spoke with a friend a while back and he asked about the state of my heart. I looked at him and replied “It’s still in there. I haven’t given it away just yet.” He looked at me and said, “In all your 23 years, you’ve never once given a piece of it to anyone?” I figured the incredulous look on his face was a joke so I just said, “Nope. Not yet.” Feeling a bit uncomfortable with the conversation, I was hoping he’d let it go but as luck would have it, he had one last thing to say, “Well Honey, you better hurry. Love doesn’t put up posters on every block. If you miss your chance, it’s gone forever.” That made me think… Did I really miss my shot at love? Was I destined to wallow in self-pity, never to experience the joy of a heart thudding for someone else?! At that point, all I could think about was how I couldn’t become the old woman spilling out of a couch surrounded by 12 cats. I don’t even like cats…
I was feeling fairly disheartened and decided to jot it down, lest I forget about my depression. (Lord knows how terrible that would be… Hello sarcasm) I figured, at the very least, maybe I could make a good story out of it. By chance, I stumbled upon an entry I wrote a few years ago.
I think I’ve mentioned a while back that I’m a music student. I major in voice and sometimes I sing for special occasions like birthdays, weddings etc. The entry was about a birthday party that I was privileged enough to perform at. It was a lovely and intimate gathering with only the closest friends and family. There was a host, Annette, who saw to the perfection of the event. She handed me a song list and ordered me to stick by it. I went over the list, smiled at the band and began to sing.
About 3 songs before the end, Annette hobbled (Yes hobbled. She banged her shin on one of the corner tables) towards me and whispered, “Do you know the song TWO WORDS by Lea Salonga” to which I replied an ecstatic “Yes!” (Because I absolutely love the song) “When I give you the signal, start singing it okay.” This was apparently the part where the birthday boy took center stage and danced with his partner.
As I sang, I watched a relatively old couple sway to the melody of the music. It was the instrumental part of the song when, to my surprise (and apparently to the rest of the room as well,) the old man started speaking, his voice bouncing off the walls of the room. (He apparently had a wireless microphone taped somewhere) He said, and I quote, “I have been lucky enough to share the 1st half of my life with the woman who made me a man. Now, at 56, I am even more blessed to meet the woman who has turned me back into a lovesick boy.” He slowly gets down on one knee and says, “This boy would now like to ask you to spend the remaining years of his life with him. Will you marry me?”
The reactions were as expected. There was not a dry eye in that room. I had to turn to the band and ask them to loop back to the instrumental just so I could have a minute to compose myself. By the end of the song, everyone was cheering and clapping and clinking wine glasses. Annette introduced us (The band and I) to the happy couple. It turns out, the man was married once before but was a widower at the age of 41. The woman was a very close friend of the man’s wife and she said that falling in love with him was completely unexpected. As they retold their story, I could see how transparent their love was for each other. Not in the mushy kind of way though. In my opinion, that’s the best kind of love. You don’t have to flaunt it for other people to know it’s there. D
So, yeah… At 23, I’m still single but I’m enjoying what life has to offer. Do I want a special someone to share Valentine’s Day with? Of course I do. And I know someday… I’ll find the Shrek to my Fiona. 😀
So for now, I’m happy spending Valentine’s Day trying to surprise one of my bestest friends on her birthday. 🙂
I’m happy sharing a meal with my Mom and brother and splitting dessert at the end. 😀
I’m glad I can act goofy and silly on Valentine’s Day. In the end, it’s really all about being happy with where you’re at in life. I may not have Prince Charming banging on my door just yet but, maybe he’s just waiting for the perfect time to sweep me off my feet. 🙂
“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”
– Carrie Bradshaw
Here’s to hoping you all had an amazing Valentine’s Day! Here’s to hoping every year will be better than the last! CHEERS! 😀