Changing the Cards…

I was reading all sorts of blog posts earlier today and I realized just how angry my last entry was. Do I regret it? No. I’m glad I was able to find an outlet for some of my angst. Truth be told, there’s still quite a bit left but I’ve decided to save that thought for another rainy day.

After all the fuming that occurred yesterday (and when I say fuming, I mean livid almost to a fault), I have decided to temporarily let go of my anger (I know myself all too well. In this situation, temporary is as good as it’s gonna get) and find something more productive or at the very least, a more pleasant use of my time and wordpress account.

I wrote this poem 8 years ago. I have to reiterate the fact that the poetry I write isn’t always based on MY life. I composed this particular one after a fairly long and bothersome conversation with an old friend. She was unusually depressed at the time so I thought it would be helpful if I pulled her aside and had a little chat. That “little chat”, however, ended up being 3 hours long. She basically talked about her life and how things weren’t working out for her. She talked about running away and about how “her parents were ruining her life”. Toss in the boy problems and the fact that she may or may not have been pregnant and you have a recipe for disaster. She ended our 3 hour long conversation with a request. She asked me to write a poem expressing her thoughts “more artistically” (Personally, I thought she just wanted it to sound more dramatic)

MUDDLED and DEJECTED

I am shattered, I am weak

My mind is blank and I can’t speak

My dreams have flown away with time

They belong to someone else and are no longer mine

The leaves have fallen, the flowers have withered

Memories of love that have yet to be triggered

Searching for solace in empty spaces

Trapped by a façade of friendly faces

So many dark paths, I don’t know which is right

I quiver at the thought of never seeing the light

The wind it blows beneath my feet

I stay awake as the whole world sleeps

I search your eyes for a reason to stay

Actions provide answers to the words you can’t convey

I cannot see my future; I no longer have a plan

This life has ended before it even began

Pain has been my only friend

This life has been a game of pretend

It’s taken everything from me

All because people refuse to see


UPDATE: I happen to know for a fact that she printed this poem out, laminated it and posted it on her bedroom wall. 8 years later, she’s engaged to be married and lives in New Hampshire with her soon to be husband Nick. She still has her laminated poem in one of her boxes. It has become a testimony to the person she once was and how she moved past it all to become the person she is now. Kudos! 😀

“We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.”          – Harrison Ford

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4 thoughts on “Changing the Cards…

  1. This is so beautiful! Do you write poetry regularly? I usually can’t stand poetry, for some reason I just don’t like it. But this is really good! 🙂
    Could I possibly have your permission to print it out?

  2. Hey there! So nice to meet you. Thank you for visiting me today and commenting on my post. I think your poem was powerful. I can see why your friend has kept it.

    • Thank you very much. That truly means a lot. 😀 I really enjoyed your blog as well. I hope you’ll come visit more often. I guarantee you’ll be seeing more of me on your site! 🙂 THANK YOU MS. STACY!

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